Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

You all right, man?'
This should be my name. I could be like a super hero: You All Right Man.
Ah...' I stumble.
Don't bug Craig,' Ronny is like. 'He's in the Craig zone. He's Craig-ing out.

Funny Quote by Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

Jennifer L. Armentrout, Obsidian

I'm sure I look like a drowned cat."
"You look fine. The wet look works for you."
I scowled. "Now I know you're lying.

Funny Quote by Jennifer L. Armentrout, Obsidian

Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

I hate when women give me that look. That overlook.

Funny Quote by Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

Laurell K. Hamilton, Circus of the Damned

I just don't believe in helping people who are going to torture me. Though I don't see any bamboo slivers. How can you possibly torture someone without bamboo slivers?

Funny Quote by Laurell K. Hamilton, Circus of the Damned

Maggie Stiefvater, Shiver

It's rude to stare, but the great thing about staring at a sedated person is that they don't know you're doing it.

Funny Quote by Maggie Stiefvater, Shiver

Molly Harper, How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf

Well, that cinched it. He was an asshole. I was definitely going to end up sleeping with him.

Funny Quote by Molly Harper, How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf

Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

About adultery: Don’t go looking for pancakes when you have flapjacks at home.

Funny Quote by Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

Carnal love: a practical man’s love. A love you can see, touch, and taste if you’re kinky. If you can’t hear it, you’re probably better suited to its more abstract form.

Funny Quote by Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

I made a nap this afternoon. I made it out of two pillows, a bed, a sheet, a blanket, and exhaustion.

Funny Quote by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

I’m older than myself. At least I will be, once my clone gets here.


Funny Quote by Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

C.C. Hunter, Awake at Dawn

You knocked the door down." Disbelief rang in his matter-of-fact tone.
"I know," she answered,unable to say anything else. Unable to look away from his body.
"But it's solid oak."
"I know." She felt the solid oak beneath her and a little shocked that she'd done it, too. If it mattered at all, her shoulder felt a little bruised. And it was the slight pain that brought some reality back into the moment.
"You don't have any clothes on." Oh, God, did she really say that?

Funny Quote by C.C. Hunter, Awake at Dawn

Richelle Mead, The Fiery Heart

Somehow, Sydney had an internal clock that told her when time was up. I think it was part of her inherent ability to keep track of a hundred things at once. Not me. In these moments, my thoughts were usually focused on getting her shirt off and whether I’d get past the bra this time. So far, I hadn’t.

Funny Quote by Richelle Mead, The Fiery Heart

Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

I want to learn the language of the sun, and burn Agatha’s eyes out with my love poems.

Funny Quote by Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

So,” sneered Fudge, recovering himself, “you intend to take on Dawlish, Shacklebolt, Dolores, and myself single-handed, do you, Dumbledore?”
“Merlin’s beard, no,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “Not unless you are foolish enough to force me to.”
“He will not be single-handed!” said Professor McGonagall loudly, plunging her hand inside her robes.
“Oh yes he will, Minerva!” said Dumbledore sharply. “Hogwarts needs you!

Funny Quote by J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Eating a plain bagel with no cream cheese is like eating the inner tube of a bicycle tire, and I’d rather ride my roller skates to work.

Funny Quote by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale